alexa, i wrote this for you and only you

I told ya I was gonna spoil ya, didn't I?

I know that things haven't exactly gone according to plan with your birthday this year - I know how much they mean to you and I'm sorry that we ain't been able to do much. I'm gutted I couldn't go on that holiday with ya and I still can't apologise enough about it, and I'm sorrier that you've had to be here on your birthday itself. I know you'd much rather be in London or New York having a wild one with your mates, and I'd much rather we were able to do that too. But I'm touched you said you'd stick with me instead and you're here, in some soulless stadium in Derby, soaking up the glamour of Larry's chat in the dressing room and John's Frank Sinatra tunes. It means a lot to me that you still want to see us play after a coupla months of trudging all over the place to watch us, and it means even more that you'd give up your birthday to spend it with me. The least I can do is try to make it a good one for you, even if it is here.

And I know that it's not just your birthday that's gone wrong, I know that the past few months have been beyond difficult. Don't worry, I'm not gonna bring the mood down because I know today is a celebration and tonight's meant to be a party, but I just need to tell ya how massively proud and amazed I am by you every single day. You've pulled yourself through something horrific and you've had to pull me with you more than once, and I'm so grateful to you for that, and incredibly glad we've managed to stick by each other through everything. I love you, I told you that morning waiting for that doctor that I was falling for you, and I meant it regardless of the situation. I still mean it now. Things haven't been perfect, they ain't even really been easy, but I've never once thought it wasn't worth it. That you weren't worth it.

You are the most beautiful, intelligent, inspiring person I've ever been lucky enough to meet and I still can't quite believe some days that it's me you want to be around. I was hooked on you the moment I met you, couldn't believe you wanted to talk to us, couldn't believe you chose us out of all the people fighting for your attention that night, and it's unreal to me that you're still here. I'll keep trying every day to be deserving of that interest, I promise ya that now. You've taught me so much already, about life and about the world, about being more patient and less stubborn, about being more open to things and less shut in my own head. I can't thank you enough for what this has already been, and I'm selfishly hoping there's loads more to come. There's even a poem somewhere in here, who'd have guessed?

So happy birthday, babe. And oh, about that birthday thing, I might've dropped a coupla invites round Grimmy's to distribute so hopefully there'll be a few familiar faces cluttering up the place and ready to spoil ya by the time doors open.

Love you,

Van xx

P.S Sorry about the amateur wrapping job on the presents! .
BENEATH MY HANDS leonard cohen Beneath my hands
your small breasts
are the upturned bellies
of breathing fallen sparrows.

Wherever you move
I hear the sounds of closing wings
of falling wings.

I am speechless
because you have fallen beside me
because your eyelashes
are the spines of tiny fragile animals.

I dread the time
when your mouth
begins to call me hunter.

When you call me close
to tell me
your body is not beautiful
I want to summon
the eyes and hidden mouths
of stone and light and water
to testify against you.

I want them
to surrender before you
the trembling rhyme of your face
from their deep caskets.

When you call me close
to tell me
your body is not beautiful
I want my body and my hands
to be pools
for your looking and laughing.

birthday choons you're my star — stereophonics
you're my star, yes you are. it's a thrill to see your imagination, just watching you is an education, what's in your mind is my fascination It blows my mind, it sets my heart to racing.
the girl in the dirty shirt — oasis
If I may be so bold could I just say something? Come and make me my day, the clouds around your soul don't gather there for nothing but I can chase them all away.
golden lady — stevie wonder
A touch of rain and sunshine made the flower grow into a lovely smile that's blooming , and it's so clear to me that you're my dream come true, there is no way that I'll be losing you.
got to get you into my life — the beatles
You knew I wanted just to hold you, and had you gone you knew in time we'd meet again for I had told you you were meant to be near me and I want you hear me say we'll be together every day.
call it fate, call it karma — the strokes
can I waste all your time here on the sidewalk? can I stand in your light just for a while? I’ve waited around and oh no, you are are not around, I made up more time watchin’ you.
get out — frightened rabbit
I'm in the arch of the church between her thumb and her forefinger. I'm a worshipper, a zealot king, cursed, a devotee of the heady golden dance she does.
having you around — july talk
but check it out the door, write it on the floor, you're safe within these walls . You've had your ups and downs, the shotgun bullets through highway town but now you're here, never fear.
touch me — the doors
Now, I'm gonna love you till the heavens stop the rain. I'm gonna love you till the stars fall from the sky for you and I.
oh scarlett — the fratellis
I swear before this night is through I'll sweep the stars from under you, and all the strays and silhouettes will call your name until the blue light starts to fade on all the girls on the parade and I'll come pleading by your gate
into the mystic — van morrison
And I want to rock your gypsy soul just like way back in the days of old and magnificently we will flow into the mystic.
lyrics
10 things i love about you • The puns (obviously)
• The way you look at people when you're talking to them, as if they're the most interesting person in the room, as if they're the only thing you see.
• The way you look at me like that.
• That you've never once made us feel stupid or less than you, even though you're as clever as you are and I'm constantly asking you to explain what things are.
• That you share the things you're passionate about, that you want me to read books or see films or go places not because you think I need brought up to your level but because you genuinely love it and want to share it with me.
• The way you're still buzzing every night at the shows like it's the first time, like you haven't seen it a hundred times since the summer. Your support means so much to me.
• The faces you pull in the mirror when you're putting your face on and you don't know you're doing it.
• That'll you'll disagree with me but never tell me what to do.
• Your eyes, your smile, your face, your body... the list is endless. You're gorgeous.
• That you came up with the idea for these lists in the first place.

presents